It’s Sunday and the sky is finally clearing up here in Auckland. I’m waiting for my 12:23pm bus to work while listening to Rhea Bue’s spotify playlist. I’m watching families and friends laughing, joking around, and just enjoying each other’s companies. Then it finally dawned on me: I AM ALONE.
For as far as I can remember, I was always afraid of being alone. I hated waiting alone, eating alone, and just being with myself in general. I always associated being ALONE with being LONELY. I used to just try to please everybody around me all the freaking time just so they won’t leave me. I tried my best to make everyone around me happy just so they won’t forget me. By now you might have noticed that I’ve been speaking in the past tense. Well, you’re right. I’m not afraid of being alone anymore.
I’ve been living by myself for almost 3 months now here in Auckland. Even before moving here, I lived by myself in Cebu. By being forced into a situation wherein I have to be alone for the most part, I realised that it’s not a bad thing at all! I’m not completely comfortable with eating alone in a public place, walking around the city with only my camera in hand, and even just spend the entire day in my room just writing and watching movies!
I have come to appreciate my alone times. It is when I learn about myself a little more. I don’t have to wear make up or dress nicely to impress people. I figured, you’re stuck with YOU for the rest of your life, right? Might as well learn to LOVE YOU!
Yes, I still miss my bae, family and friends very much but I’m not lonely. I miss the good morning texts, the random hugs, and the unexpected surprises. But I have God and I have me. I’ve come to realise that that is all you need in order to reach that level of self-actualisation (Maslow-vibe😉). Every morning I wake up and say, “Good morning Shane!” , I give myself random hugs, and I treat myself to good food, good music, and awesome sceneries! All in all, I just want to stress out that it’s perfectly fine to be #foreveralone.😉
I have to stop writing now ’cause I’m already at work! ✌🏼 Byeeeee.